The lost lamb

I've always spent my life wanting more being told to improve and to keep on going, pushing myself to improve, but this seems to have seeped in over in to other parts of my life. Now not only do I want more out of myslef, I want more stuff and things and crap in my life. At what point can some one look around and say they have everything they need?

Is this just a childish naive state that when I grow out of it I will also stop wanting everything or is it good that I want this continuing improvement.

I'm not sure but I know that i'm not on my own, we seem to be in a world that is want, want, want and I don't know if people have worked out how to stop, keeping up with the jonese seems to be the understatment of the century now.

How do you stop ever wanting more when people have spent their lifes being told they can go out and have what ever they want. The problem seems to be that they have not been told how to get it. So a quick fix for instant gratification seems to be the answer.

But like when you have to much sugar this high is normally followed by a quick and unpleasent drop which leaves you feeling low the choose is do you quit the sugary stuff all together and balence out life or do you just have another quick fix and see how long you can ride it out.

That will teach me.

Some lessons in life are hard to learn. Which is understandable because if they weren't hard, they wouldn't be a lesson, it would be more like break time.

Everyone gets knocked back, unless your really lucky and there are some people out there who are. I'm not one of them!

It's how you deal with the problems, that effects the person you are and the person you will become.

I don't handle problems well, when things go bad I cut people out of my life, I curl up in to a ball and hid under the duvet, which is the only thing that will save me from the monster, that is the outside world, waiting under my bed to consume me.

I finished university, I was offered a job and I was the cat that got the cream!
I boosted so much, the job was awful and 6 weeks on I lost it. I didn't put up a fight there have been worse things that I've lost and I've been more upset about, my dignity for one, but that's definitely another story.

I ran home with my tail between my legs, my pride took a serious beat in but worse than that I lost hope.

I forgot about all the fantastic things I have and will achieve and concentrated on my failure.

After months I have learned my lesson.

Everyone achieves something amazing in their lifetime and they do it again and again, you only have to fail once to feel the worse you can.

The best thing about that feeling though is knowing that it can and will get better!

Can I please stop going round in circles

It's the never ending circle that I think all students end up at one point or another. When your looking for a job and they ask: 'What experience do you have?' errr well at uni or I worked for a week at...

Your stuck on repeat, you can't get a job because you have no experience and you have no experience because no one will give you a job.

The only solution is an internship or what could now be classed as free labor, its an insane idea in this day and age that a company is allowed to employ someone and have them work for free as they are gaining 'experience' and two weeks is nothing these placements can go on from a minimum of four weeks to six months.

No one seems to see this as a problem in our commodity world working for free after university is expected.

Fair enough I will run fetch you tea and preform such pointless tasks that are suppose to give me experience but is a minimum wage to much to ask for?

What do you think people live off? It use to be that the rich kids would be able to go to university and then would be able to afford the placements and then they would be able to get the better paid jobs, forever keeping us in a society were the rich stay rich.

Was uni worth it?

Its a fantastic idea going to university, but as I'm just finishing the reality of finding a job is hitting home.

Although while on my course I had to do work experience in reality I actually have very little experience within the media industry, I've become use to half days and staying in bed till mid day.

So after 3 years what have i got out of the whole university experience, well firstly lots of debt, while at uni i have managed to gain weight, a lot of weight with the unhealthy lifestyle of pizza and beer so I've probably destroyed my liver as well, and sadly after being pampered through uni I have this belief that everything will be handed to me on a plate, oh and now i live for grades, what will I do without someone telling me that I'm doing a brilliant job.

I apply for at least two jobs a day and I'm now going to document my progress so I can actually see whether university has helped me, or was it just three years of dosing about and will a job in fast food be waiting for me.

As a last ditch attempted I've taken up pole dancing just in case my "career" as a budding journalist goes tits up.

Being female is just not enough

I’m on a mission to become a girl, now you would have thought being female I was doing quite well but oh no how wrong can you be.

Before I’m even allowed to go shopping I have been told I need a little body DIY. Apparently my eyebrows are the wrong shape my skin needs exfoliating, hair needs removing and I would look far healthy if I had that slightly orange tinges that you can only get from fake tan.

Its like farming my body, you have to nature the crop, which is your beauty regime, tend to it everyday and if you leave it for only one day it all goes to seed and you have to start all over again.

Well I’ve shaved, waxed, plucked, exfoliated, scrubbed, dyed my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. If it wasn’t for the orange glow of the fake tan I would be looking red raw right now.

Well I’m sure some one will appreciate this but in the name of dating do I really want to go through all this again, I think not.

Whats wrong with being fantastic?

Looking at people in this modern world it is unnerving to see how negative people are, why has it become second nature for people to criticise themselves and sorry to be unfair to my sex but women are the biggest culprit.

Waking up in the morning you yawn, stretch and then you make your way to the mirror and urgh look at my hair, I need to lose weight, I wish I had a flat stomach.

No wonder people look miserable in morning if the first thing they do is put themselves down, how difficult is it just to look at yourself and be amazed at the person you are.

How do you expect anyone to believe in you or have confidences in you if you don’t even have it in yourself?

The answer to life isn't that expensive magic pot of cream that you got from boots it’s the ability to walk in to a room your head hold high saying I’m as good as any of you here hold on I’m amazing.